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I have had the chance to watch Harrison Ford’s latest film, “Firewall” on DVD. He is Jack Stanfield, a bank's security chief who has designed a computer system and firewall to protect the bank from fraud. One day, after being introduced to a man named Bill Cox who is interested in working with Jack on a security project, Jack finds himself ambushed by Cox who pointed a gun at him. Jack finds out that Coc and his gang want him to hack through the bank’s computer security and transfer $100 million to Cox's offshore bank accounts, failing which his family will be killed.

Harrison Ford looks tired in this film but maybe it’s to fit in his character as a seasoned employee who has been serving the bank for twenty years, hence Jack Stanfield’s age. Paul Bettany, who played the obedient yet murderous Silas in The Da Vinci Code, fits the character well as the antagonist. The story somehow relates rather closely to the environment I am in, at least for now. However, one can easily feel that it did not quite succeed in reaching that part of you. The scenes where Jack tries his very best to save his family that should touch your emotion failed to achieve their aim. Overall, dialogues are good and I remember at least two memorable quotes:

Bilut, which is scheduled to be screened in August is in its promotional tour all around Malaysia. The promotion kicked off in Raub, Pahang with activities that included futsal match between the artists and film crew (Bilut team) against the media as well as artists' performance, followed by the second at Semarak, KL. The third was held at Central market with quiz and a variety of activities with the film's actors including meet-the-fans session.

On 27 May 2006, the promotional activities will be held at Stadium Likas, Sabah.

The week that follows, i.e. Saturday 3 June 2006, Bilut will meet the public at Mid Valley Mega Mall, KL and all who may be spending time there with families and friends are invited to join the fun.

In 1960, Yazid, together with his friends Rosli and a few other settlers who later became his close friends and confidante, Hamzah, Mustafa and Mat Ya arrived in Bilut, which they regarded as the land of exploration and opportunity.

Yazid later brought with him his wife, Aishah and their children Yusof, Asmah and Yamin. Clearing a forest was not easy and their confidence was first put to the test with the death of Rosli who was hit by the falling big branch. Yazid had to continue assuring Aishah to hang on and accept the challenges as tests. From then onwards, they had to go through various events and hardship – wild animals that share their habitat, natural disaster of storm and flood, people’s hatred, jealousy, betrayal. Yazid’s most unbearable challenge was when his third child, Yamin, at his age of seven, died after being attacked by a tiger. Yazid found himself blaming the management for their lackadaisical attitude in ensuring safety in the area. Not only that, he also blamed his wife Aishah for not properly taking care of their child. Overwhelmed with emotion and sadness, Aishah decided to get away from the settlement with their children Yusof and Asmah. As fate wrote itself, Aishah got pregnant but life offers its tests in its own way.

Dialog I (dialogku)
Apabila ku berlari, kurasakan begitu perlahan, seakan berjalan. Apabila kuberjalan, kurasakan begitu perlahan, seakan merangkak. Apabila ku merangkak, kuarasakan lumpuh. Pancaroba yang merasuk setiap makhluk bergelar manusia. Mengeringkan perasaan, tandus kemahuan.

Apabila mulutku melafazkan hasrat, hatiku membakar semangat. Apabila bibirku mengucapkan kata, jiwaku membara lara. Inikah dia manusia? Atau hamba? Apabila kupinta dipujuk, apakah aku dikata merajuk? Kalau kumahu membisik, apakah ada yang mahu merisik? Mendengar keluhanku? Luahan yang bukan dari bibir tapi dari hati? Lalu apabila dua birbirku dirapatkan, apakah bermaksud kudiam? Mungkin ungkapan yang terbit dari bibir lebih didengari daripada jeritan batin yang tiada bersuara. Memangnya sering keliru, bukankah ia biasa?

Now am I feeling blue? Blue, to the Egyptians, represents truth. Blue is also the colour for the spirit and the intellect. And is it also not an expression for aristocracy as in "blue blood"? No, it's none of those feelings that I'm feeling right this very moment. No truths, no spirits, no intellects, definitely no aristocracy.

Or is there a time when a man is obedient to a law? What about the law of nature? Rather curious am I. Do we count the days that passed? Or the days that are coming? Perhaps our twinkling eyes and minds give some alert. But what about the religious feeling, devotion and innocence? What about the emotion that is to exist which is not supposed to exist? Where does one keep it? Or hide it? Show it? Does my heart elate from chilling fear and bitter dread that keep my spirits free?

Who can name it? The very date when weariness appears? I am rather curious. But why should I be? Life is about curiosity anyway, because life is uncertainty. Many a time I hear that life is a play and the world the stage, and we the actors - and that it is unrehearsed. This I must dwell, or this would never be it. So much to do, so much to learn, so much in which to share. I enjoyed my youth, or rather, I enjoyed my teen and adolescent years, but I was enjoying it too much that I realised life was easy. I guess when you've lived life longer, you tend to look at it more seriously, and only then you begin to learn more, and that is when you find that there's more that you do not know. There is so much of a tale life is to tell.

"Desire reduces us to weakness."

I was reminded by a voice within to share something of extraordinary nature with those who may want to hear or rather read about what I have to tell. As a matter of fact, it is so ordinary to tell stories, to tell tales. What makes it extraordinary is the story, the tale that is being told.

So here I find myself about to tell something that has been told to me, only I had the advantage of not just listening to it but also watching what was in it. Yes, there was also the reading part as my eyes moved between watching the acts and reading the subtitles at the bottom of the screen. It was to me a disturbing fictional film based on the novel written by some French novelist whom I can't seem to recall his name.

Are things new always enticing? always exciting? I am called from within, to scribble (if I may so call it) here, and I must confess that it's all because of its newness, so I must find myself, in a way, thanking or should I say, congratulating, the master of the web or better known as the webmaster, for his boldness if i may so refer, or perhaps it's not the most suitable adjective to be used yet that is the only word I can think of using right now. How frustrating one can be, how I wish I have not such a limited vocabulary, that my life is full of richness. Yet what is richness? I know for certain I won't relate it to anything material, perhaps I should love the richness of colours, the colours that make this life. But what is life? Ah, how complicated a complication can be? Or is it only I who is trying to see complications beyond this simplicity? Perhaps I purposely want to explore these complications, for life can be as complicated as it can be as simple. The truth is, I am simple, my life is simple. What may not be as simple is what contains in my simple life.